Sigh.

I didn't get over the weigh in yesterday because I was too busy shuttling the girl around between dance classes at the studio, her dancing at a football game, and trying to make my house somewhat less disastrous before my sister came over.  I'll go first thing tomorrow.

Anyway.  I had to stop to get gas in the car.  First of all - I thought I looked pretty cute yesterday.  I was wearing my favorite black, almost-ankle-length skirt with a slit up the front to my knees.  It was cold / windy / rainy out, so I had on leggings and black flats.  I had a burgundy top with what looks like a lace insert at the neckline and 3/4 sleeves.  And I'd tossed on a black hoodie when I left the house. 

So anyway.  I'm minding my own business, filling up the car, when Brunette Barbie toddled by.  She was gorgeous & young & thin & wearing a skin tight black dress, black hose & stilettos so high she could barely walk.  And every guy at the gas station was staring.

My first thought was "where the heck is she going at 4:30ish on a Thursday afternoon???" and  "WTH? There aren't hookers this far north!" and then random evil thoughts went her way.  

Then I looked down at myself as I put the gas cap back on my car. 

And had an epiphany. 

I totally looked dowdy.  Instead of cute, I felt like a chubby, almost 40-year old hippie.  But I really didn't think any more of it the rest of the evening, since no one is cute while bundled up against wind & rain at a high school football game!   Until I got dressed this morning.

I tend to wear longer skirts because I'm lazy and can get away with wearing knee-highs instead of panty hose. I also have not worn a shirt tucked in since I got my Navy discharge.  Comfort has been my style.  Today I put on a mid-calf length flowered skirt and plain black t-shirt with a small detail around the neck.  I am wearing shoes with 2 inch heels, tho.  As I stood in front of the bathroom mirror.  I almost cried. The word came to me.  I looked ........matronly........

SOB!

I'm only 38!  I don't want to look this way!  I just hate shopping for clothes.  I have to be in the mood to try stuff on - which I have to do since nothing is sized normally.   Is it right for the mom of a 14 year old to even WANT to look cute?   I know Randy doesn't care what I wear. 

I think I need a make-over.  And I need to become independently wealthy.   Does anyone else feel this way??